Mittens vs. the Toy Tree

(Blogger’s Note: Fifth in the Stories Unchained series. I actually pitched this one in graphic novel format a few years back. I had this idea of writing a different Mittens story for all major holidays and/or seasons. Writing for a GN was an interesting exercise, separating scene description from dialogue from narrative. For this post, I reintegrated these and combed through it a few times. I enjoy the relationship between the father and Mittens. As a side note, this was modified from an old family story – something that happened in our house when I was too young to remember.)

Everything was new to Mittens. When you’re only six months old, life is like that. Nobody stops to explain anything to a kitten. Well, that isn’t completely true. Jill, the girl that lived with Mittens, often made noises at him. The trouble was, she uttered that babbling human nonsense instead of a sensible system of purrs, meows and grumphs like any normal cat.

“Daddy is bringing the Christmas tree and we’re going to decorate it, Mittens! Isn’t that exiting?” To Mittens, it sounded like, “Blah blah blah blah blah blah, Mittens! blah blah blah?”

Jill was his special friend. Nobody spent more time with him than Jill. If only she would make sense. She stroked his black ears and back just how he liked it. He stretched on her lap, digging his front claws lovingly into her leg. Those paws were the only white on his body – quite stylish in contrast to his jet black fur.

Why had the weather turned so cold, and what had happened to the daily warm pool of sunshine, Mittens wanted to know. He meowed while Jill prattled on, asking her, “Where did the warm go? Can you bring it back? Maybe one of those big people could help you. They’re very clever with a can opener…”

Mittens placed a paw on Jill’s hand. He looked imploringly into her eyes. How could he make her answer his important questions?

Jill moved Mittens from her lap and skipped to the front door. Through the glass Mittens saw the adult male approaching. He looked again – yes – the big male was carrying an entire tree.

This was new.

The big male of the family stepped into the house – still carrying that tree. Now, Mittens isn’t prudish, but this was just a bit more variety than he was ready for. Besides, the big male wasn’t as friendly as Jill. Who knew what he might do next?

Mittens bolted to the top of the steps and made his stand. If that big male was going to do anything else crazy, Mittens wanted to be ready for a quick escape to Jill’s bed. He watched as the big male seemed to gather his senses, at least partly. He leaned the tree in a corner – not bringing it deeper into the house.

The smell of it filled Mittens’ nose with pine, and the hint of a few rodents that must have run like fury when the big male took their tree. Mittens watched cautiously from the steps. Did that silly male really take the tree and leave the rodents?

Worst. Hunter. Ever.

Jill danced around the room. Mittens took this as a good sign – Jill was happy.

The adult female brought in boxes. The male and female opened several of these. More lovely smells. It wasn’t food or mice, but it was pleasant – like flowers and spices. They fixed the tree so that it stood up by itself without roots.

Odd. Still in the house? Mittens shook his fuzzy head, thinking he had seen everything.

But he hadn’t.

“I just love the cedar and clove sachets,” the big female chirped.

“Is this tree straight?” growled the male.

“May I put the star on top?” Jill hopped on one foot, waving something shiny. Mittens considered leaping at her and climbing up to grab it. No. Too high. He settled for sniffing a bag the female had placed on a table. Should he rip it open?

The two big ones and Jill took shiny things from the boxes one at a time and hung them on the tree. There were lights and balls and bells and well, just about everything and anything, including a sparkly glass pickle.

As they worked, the light of realization shined down upon Mittens. They were making a present for him! Of course! It was too cold to go outside to climb trees now, so they brought this one inside! This was almost as good as all the food and treats they kept giving him!

Too bad the rodents had run off first.

Mittens meowed his thanks, but the human’s didn’t respond. Perhaps they couldn’t hear him over the noise coming from the cabinet in the corner. It was a nice noise, full of pleasant tones and rhythms, and human babble. Jill imitated it in her piping voice.

“On the first noel… the angels did say…”

Mittens approached the tree and sat next to Jill.

“Isn’t it beautiful, Mittens?”

Mittens meowed, “Thanks for the toy.” Jill stroked his back. He smacked one of the shiny balls hanging close to the floor. It swung back and forth gratifyingly.

The big male barked. “Bad kitty! Don’t let that cat play with the ornaments, Jill. He’ll break them.”

Mittens backed away. Jill hovered protectively over him. What was that big guy’s problem? Did he want to play with the tree first? Fine! But he didn’t have to be a grouch about it.

Mittens licked his fur to show he didn’t care, then strolled over to the screened hole in the floor while the family put more toys on the tree. The hole had always been there, but lately hot air came out of it. Since the rest of the world had turned cold, Mittens found this to be a good thing. He moved his favorite resting spot from the window sill to the hole.

He watched them for some time. What is wrong with these people? Not even Jill was batting at the toys dangling so temptingly from every bow. They just smiled at it all. Where they lazy or just lacking in imagination? Mittens considered showing them how it’s done, but then he thought about how much humans sleep at night while he’s awake, getting his exercise.

He could wait.

“Silent night…” Jill’s voice almost put Mittens to sleep.

Eventually, his patience was rewarded. All was quiet, except for the growling snore coming from the adult den. Mittens snuck up on the tree. He batted that big silver ball. It swung silently, but a nearby bell jingled softly as the branch bobbed.

“Szgneerrrrt!” snarled the adult male from his den.

Mitten’s looks up the stairs as the bell and ball swayed. Everyone remained asleep.

He turned back to the tree. My, it was tall! And most of the way up, way out on a branch, was the biggest reddest ball Mittens had ever seen in his life.

He crouched.

It waited up there, unaware that Mittens the Mighty was on the prowl. He slid silently under the lowest bows and found the trunk in pine scented darkness. His sharp claws sank into the soft wood.

As he neared the top, Mittens' footsteps caused thin branches to bend and bells to tinkle. Would his prize be startled and fly off? He stepped with care.

He was on the right branch now, high above the floor. Mittens stepped out as silent as fog, one paw in front of the other. Each step made the red ball bounce. Just a little further now.

The tree tipped. Mittens barely had time to leap neatly to the floor as it drove up to meet him. Everything would have been fine if the tree hadn’t come down after him.

It didn’t hit him hard, but the experience was undignified. A moment ago he had been hunting a ball on a branch and now the entire tree was hunting him! It attacked him! That was not how things were supposed to work!

Mittens became entangled in the tree, lights and ornaments. He was not one to take this lying down. Out came the claws! He smacked at shiny toys and tree branches alike. They were all in it together! Strings of lights wrapped around his legs as he struggled for freedom and revenge. Mittens yowled and spat and snarled in his furious fight with the treacherous tree.

“RAAAAAR!”

Bits of everything flew everywhere.

Once free, Mittens bolted across the room. The far wall came up quickly and he slammed into it.

He was in a corner. There was nothing to do but put all his feet together in a bunch, arch his back, puff out his fur and spit back at the enemy. Mittens put on such a frightening show that the tree made no move to follow.

“HSSSS! RAAAAAR! FSSST!”

The lights clicked on – the entire family was up. But that wasn’t reassuring. Wasn’t it they who set this trap? He hissed and spat a blue streak.

The big male barked louder than Mittens had ever heard him bark before. “Rassum Flabbersnab! Look what that flaknoober cat did!”

“FSSST!”

“Little pitchers, Dear,” said the female.

“What happened?” asked Jill. She rubbed her eyes.

Mittens hissed again for good measure. He still had a few choice words for anyone who would set up such a thing.

The big male growled back. “What happened? Your… PRECIOUS KITTY… knocked over the tree!”

“HSSSS!”

The big female shuffled Jill back up the stairs. The male snarled, grabbed a broom, and cleaned up broken toys.

To Mittens’ amazement, he set the big tree back up! He even put the remaining toys back onto it. Did he honestly think that Mittens was at all interested in that cat trap anymore? Mittens gave him a hard glare.

“Don’t you even think about it!” barked the male.

They stared at each other for a while. Eventually, the big male purred. He reached toward Mittens. “Awww.. Look at you. Your tail is as thick as a toilet brush. You had quite a fright, didn’t you.”

“FSSST!”

“Yes, I guess you did have a scare.” The male continued to babble softly. He pulled his hand back in consideration of Mittens’ extended claws. The man seemed to be thinking of something else for a while. He looked up toward Jill’s den where the female was putting Jill to bed. Then he turned to Mittens. “You know, I was hoping you would be a golden lab, or maybe a shepherd. But my little girl wanted a kitty.”

The male sat next to Mittens on floor looking up the stairs toward Jill’s room. He shrugged. The softness of his tone felt soothing to Mittens. He let some of his fur settle down. “What are you going to do, right? I’m sorry I yelled at you, Mittens.” He stretched out on the floor looking up at the tree. “Friends?”

That was the first time Mittens remembered the big male ever using his name. Jill used it all the time and she loved him. Maybe the big male wasn’t so bad.

“Friends?” meowed Mittens softly. Mittens rubbed up against the male’s scratchy face. The big male held his hand out again. This time Mittens let himself be petted.

“You’re all right, Mittens – not so bad for a cat, at least. Tomorrow I’ll peg that tree to the ceiling so you can climb it all you like. How does that sound?”

Mittens wasn’t sure what the big male was blathering about, but it sounded gentle. He knew there would be more surprises. That can’t be helped when your only six months old. But things were looking up.

A glittering heap of destruction decorated the hearth, the red ball was one of the few remaining toys, and the top star was crocked. The toy tree was beautiful.