It’s not just for kicks, I swear. The truth is, I can’t stop. Even when I’ve already experienced a particular form of ritual humiliation, rubbing my nose in the unattainable, being slapped lopsided by superiority, I crawl back for more. It’s a fetish. I have a fetish for reading Neil Gaiman. I not only read his work once, but come slithering back for seconds. It’s degrading. On my worst days, it is crushing.
Right now I’m re-reading STARDUST. The seemingly effortless touch with which he creates a modern fairytale that rivals stories written in the days when such things seemed possible melts into my eyes and drips into my heart. I find myself thinking, “Yes! This is the story I’m going to write!” And then I shake my head and feel the weight of the book in my hands mocking me, saying, “I’m already here, chump.”
ANANSI BOYS? THE GRAVEYARD BOOK? CORALINE? I’ve bitch-slapped myself with each of these. Apparently, besides being able to turn out enchanting, unique works, the guy is fairly good looking as well. (No, that’s not part of my kink. I’m taking that from feminine authority – women writers of my acquaintance.) Did I hear he’s recently married? Even his damn dog looks sweet!
On a good day, I tell myself that I have identified a goal. I have set the bar high. If I can write a story worthy of the likes of Gaiman or Twain, I will die happy, published or not. Not a book like theirs. Imitation would never do for either of them. I have my own voice. Now I just have to break through a few more artistic doors to advance to the level I hope to attain.
I guess that’s why I torture myself.
4 comments:
Pilfering another's work is never good, and you're right, you do have a unique voice. I can hear it in this post.
And yes, Neil is a really awesome writer. To be like him is almost impossible, so I think you should be better! Don't gimme that expression, you can do it!
His success lies not only in his seamless narration, but his ideas. That's what really sells a book (apart from other things, and what will elevate you yo his rank or beyond.
Stop thinking you are less than they, instead, believe in what you stand for--your ideas and its value.
Afterall, you have folks who believe in you. :D
Thanks T.D. That was an encouraging reply! Of course I would never steal from them, unless I managed to swipe his unreleased ms – JOKE!
Some days are better than others. I just had to vent.
It's nice to vent sometimes isn't it? Ya, some days can be a real downer and then there are those when you're at such a high, you touch the sky!
Hooray for those; boo for all the other icky ones!
You write such great posts, Sam, keep 'em coming.
What this post shows is 1) you recognize good writing, 2) you're aiming for good writing, 3) you have a clear viewpoint on your writing, and 4) Neil Gaiman is indeed a handsome bloke.
I mean, he's a rock star, ain't he? And have you seen his library?
http://blog.shelfari.com/my_weblog/2009/09/neil.html
Click on each photo and you can read the titles.
So yeah, you're doing exactly what you should be doing. Just keep knocking down those artistic doors as you keep climbing, and know that there's never any end to it, that Gaiman feels as much a faker as any other writer, and that it's all about challenging yourself and enjoying the sweet torture of language.
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