Something you might not know.
We each host an anxiety gremlin complete with pointy teeth, and claws, and foul dispositions. Maybe yours is so small you don’t notice it much. Some people
are practically ruled by theirs. Under normal conditions these gremlins walk
beside us kvetching under their breath about how the sun it too bright and
someone is going to get killed not being able to see in such a glare. “It’s a
wonder we don’t all have skin cancer already. Well, soon enough…”
And so on.
Some people have turned to guns to save themselves from their anxiety
gremlin, but they’ll never manage to plug it. It’s not that simple. Some have
tried numbing themselves but the gremlin only laughs. Both of these play right
into its hands.
On our best days we manage to kick that bastard back a bit so that it
trudges behind us scurrying to catch up as we turn our faces to the sun and
drink in pleasure.
They are hard to get rid of entirely, though.
Sometimes they get in front and block our path, keeping us from moving
forward. We feel stuck; frozen in the fears it whispers up at us. We begin to
believe its lies. That’s when things get dark.
Then it can get away with more. It climbs onto our backs and digs foot
claws into our sides. Grasping fingers as hard as roofing nails pierce our
skulls and turn us away from the sun. “Looking at the light is pointless,” it
hisses in our ear as it swivels our necks. “Look at the mess you have made of
your life instead. You’ll never get anywhere now. What’s the point? What must decent
people think of you? So useless.”
A gun won’t find it. The best we can do is rip that monster from our
hides, sometimes leaving long bloody slashes as we pull it free and throw it
down.
And never let it climb onto us again.
Which can be much harder than it sounds. Maybe your gremlin has been
taking it easy on you. Other gremlins have insatiable ambition and need to be
fought and defeated every single day.
Still, the sun is out there. And we deserve that pleasure no matter how
strong our gremlin has become. The fight is always worth it, and so are we.
