Thursday, September 1, 2011

Open Letter to Anyone Moving to Seattle

Do you own a green Subaru Outback? First of all, congratulations on joining with your people. Your wandering is over. You have found your tribe.


I would like you to go out and take a good long look at your Subaru. What kind of roof-top carrier do you own? On which side of the car is it most easily accessed? The bike rack: what is the make and model? Scan your bumper. On which side is the tastefully mainstream liberal sticker placed?

Once you receive your Washington plates, memorize them.

Any one of these details may be the one that will help you to differentiate your car from the other 400 green Subaru Outbacks parked at the Whole Foods at any given time.

If the memory load seems like too much, I suggest you sign the side of your car with a two inch paint brush.