Wednesday, January 11, 2012


Seriously, Twinkie Boyz? Who goes bankrupt selling whipped lard to Americans? My theory is, they didn’t actually go bankrupt so much as they mass produced all the world will need to consume for the next seventy years, so they closed shop to save money while sales continue. I’m pretty sure they’re still selling the ones they made back in 1974. Preservatives are a marvel.

But bankrupt? I don’t buy it. Not when you’re selling animal fat tubes two to a pack.

Have you ever tried one wrapped in bacon? It is to die for. Actually, I think that’s what happened to Jimmy Hoffa. Bacon/Twinkie induced heart explosion. There wasn’t enough left of him to identify.

Well, if this turns out to ACTUALLY be the end, then Rest In Peace, Twinkies. The coming zombie apocalypse will not be the same without you.